I am so terrible at this blogging thing its hilarious!! I have not written in six months. Sometimes i think its that I am afraid what to say or I have nothing to say at all. But one of my goals this year is to not worry about what people think/say and focus on what makes me happy. Hopefully it will work, hehe. I am a bit spectacle, as you can tell.
So anyways this blog was started so that I can talk about my two daughters who have autism. I think they are the best most wonderful girls in the world. They have come so far these past two years since starting preschool. There speech is AMAzing!!!! You could barely understand them & they were not making complete sentences. I know that some of this is the difference between three and almost five but it is still ohhh sooo AMAzing!!! :) Like today they came home and told me all about there day at school and how therapy was with Ms. Lisa, a full paragraph completely awesome. Its the little things, slowly but surely they all add up and its an explosion of excitement. Any parent can definitely relate to this!
We have out IEP meeting next month and I am scared to death of it, especially since its for Kindergarten. AHHHH.... yes my girls are getting that big and NOOOOO I am not ready for it. But this is reality and my girls are getting older, I am just happy they are doing better then I thought. A while back I thought that Cheyenne was digressing, well I was wrong. I think it was lack of focus over the summer break and now that she is in school she is doing beautifully. Just means I have to be more prepared for this summer. Maybe a mini summer school or home schooling both girls will help, well my goal at least. I know its only January but I think its always good to try to be prepared, especially with twins. Never know whats going to happen.
The other day Sydney came home with a paper she had colored on and her name was written on the back, it was in color and she wrote her name herself. It was sloppy as it should be but ohh my was it beautiful. Cheyenne tried to do the same hers is almost there, she will have any day now! Like any parent I could go on for hours about my child's accomplishments but there are some to name a few. I am tired and going to take a break but whoever reads this, thank you for listening. Hopefully be back sooner than six months. :)
Friday, January 11, 2013
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Figuring this out
Been having a lot of revelations in my life these past couple months. It seems that everything I thought I knew I was completely wrong about. I figured I had autism figured out, wrong! I know I am not supposed to know everything but I figured I had a clue.
Basically I think that Cheyenne is digressing and I figured that was not possible, well at least in her speech. Cheyenne has always had problems with speech bur her intellect has always been brilliant. She was having speech therapy two times a week at school and did not qualify for at home use anymore. Well I figured that she would not need it during the summer, wrong again. I should have tried to get her into a speech program and I figured she would not be able to qualify but I never tried. I actually did not even think about it till I noticed the digression, which you would have thought I noticed it sooner. I did not even realize till around two weeks ago, right about the time summer is ending and school is beginning in two weeks. I feel like I should have noticed this earlier, like I am failing for my child .I hope this is not a huge problem but I am not sure. I have no one to talk to about this
Cheyenne is talking like a baby, almost as if she cant use words. We have to ask her big girl voice or talk normal in order to understand her.Cheyenne also talks like characters most of the time as well. She does not understand that she has a voice of her own, or at least it comes across that way. So the big question is that is she digressing or is this just a stage she is going threw, she is four. For all i know she is just identifying with the characters and feels like she understand them better than anyone else, obviously a guess on my part.
One thing I am very happy about is that she does start school soon and she will back on schedule for her therapy. I am praying that this can or will be resolved. Also at the same time if this is all that is going on with her then I am very lucky. She is a very healthy, loving, beautiful child.
I just want to help my child and if there is anything I can do I will do it!! If anyone has any suggestions or knows what i am going threw I would great appreciate any feedback. Thank you!!
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."
Albert Einstein
Basically I think that Cheyenne is digressing and I figured that was not possible, well at least in her speech. Cheyenne has always had problems with speech bur her intellect has always been brilliant. She was having speech therapy two times a week at school and did not qualify for at home use anymore. Well I figured that she would not need it during the summer, wrong again. I should have tried to get her into a speech program and I figured she would not be able to qualify but I never tried. I actually did not even think about it till I noticed the digression, which you would have thought I noticed it sooner. I did not even realize till around two weeks ago, right about the time summer is ending and school is beginning in two weeks. I feel like I should have noticed this earlier, like I am failing for my child .I hope this is not a huge problem but I am not sure. I have no one to talk to about this
Cheyenne is talking like a baby, almost as if she cant use words. We have to ask her big girl voice or talk normal in order to understand her.Cheyenne also talks like characters most of the time as well. She does not understand that she has a voice of her own, or at least it comes across that way. So the big question is that is she digressing or is this just a stage she is going threw, she is four. For all i know she is just identifying with the characters and feels like she understand them better than anyone else, obviously a guess on my part.
One thing I am very happy about is that she does start school soon and she will back on schedule for her therapy. I am praying that this can or will be resolved. Also at the same time if this is all that is going on with her then I am very lucky. She is a very healthy, loving, beautiful child.
I just want to help my child and if there is anything I can do I will do it!! If anyone has any suggestions or knows what i am going threw I would great appreciate any feedback. Thank you!!
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."
Albert Einstein
Friday, February 24, 2012
Being Mom!
So lately I have had a lot to think about but for some reason I have not been able to write. Then a friend of mine Elise told me to write about something different, which is great advice and never had come to my mind. So I am going to attempt to and see where this goes. Funny thing is that I will probably still talk about my girls and not that that is bad but i obviously need a change of pace if i have been blocked for over seven months. Maybe that is exactly what is my problem, my whole life is centered around my girls and I do not really have much of anything else. Don not get me wrong I love my girls, there are my world but I need more and I deserve more.I guess I am so used to being mom that I forgot to take care of myself. I am that "A" typical mom that dresses in sweats everywhere I go, gets a hair cut maybe twice a year, does not wear make-up, let alone take of my skin and body. It is almost like I have been living in the twilight zone for four years and I have not been able to escape. I do not know why I have been this way but it is obvious I am stuck in a rut and have been for quite some time. I can not blame it on my girls, they are almost four, not almost four months. I could blame them but what good would that do, that is more damaging to myself and gives me self resentment to them, which we all know is not true. A lot of the reason why I think I felt like I could not take care of myself because it would take time away from my girls. Why? I have no idea but i felt this way and did very strongly. I think, well I feel like a lot of parents, particularly moms do, and/or I hope I am not the only one.
I have gained a lot of weight since I have had my girls but for me to blame them is very unfair, its actually very wrong. If anything I need to be happy about it because I can look at the stretch marks on my stomach and realize I got these two beautiful girls out of it. One thing i must say is i need to remember this anytime I start looking or feel bad about my weight. I really do have a lot of great things going on for me in my life and its is almost like I had an epiphany about this the other day, I need no I must start taking better care of myself. So I went and did a couple things for myself. I went and got my nails done,eyebrows waxed, got a new daring haircut and color, and bought some new clothes, ones that actually fit right! It is almost like I am a changed woman, in a very positive self deserving way. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and I am trying as hard as I can to do that for myself. Not only will this improve my relationship with my myself but my husband, my girls and my friends and family, and that is exactly what I need!
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
I have gained a lot of weight since I have had my girls but for me to blame them is very unfair, its actually very wrong. If anything I need to be happy about it because I can look at the stretch marks on my stomach and realize I got these two beautiful girls out of it. One thing i must say is i need to remember this anytime I start looking or feel bad about my weight. I really do have a lot of great things going on for me in my life and its is almost like I had an epiphany about this the other day, I need no I must start taking better care of myself. So I went and did a couple things for myself. I went and got my nails done,eyebrows waxed, got a new daring haircut and color, and bought some new clothes, ones that actually fit right! It is almost like I am a changed woman, in a very positive self deserving way. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and I am trying as hard as I can to do that for myself. Not only will this improve my relationship with my myself but my husband, my girls and my friends and family, and that is exactly what I need!
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
Friday, June 17, 2011
Possibility of Change
So I have been pretty busy lately and not in the normal way of busy but busy with my thoughts. Obviously because i have not written in over two months. But I am back and ready to give my thoughts on a lot of things going on.
Well we all know its hard raising children, let alone twins, then add special needs and it can make things a bit overwhelming at times. But imagine if i could take the special needs away, imagine if someone was to tell you that they did not agree with the diagnosis then what??
So we did what any parent would do and we took the girls to get a second opinion. We met with a Clinical Psychologist, who came highly recommended from a friend, so our confidence level about him was very high. He took his time and sat with us for a good twenty minutes observing the girls so he could get a good feel for the girls and there behavior. Then he went into detail about Sydney saying he felt that she was not autistic. He felt she was very alert, engaging, and made very well eye contact. We were very stunned. Next he looked at Cheyenne and he felt she was developmentally delayed. Stunned again. Here we where two parents who were devastated by the girls diagnosis and now this Dr is saying he feels other wise, still in shock. Don't get me wrong I know I can not change anything, and I am truly blessed to have my beautiful daughters but when you have then re diagnosed and this Dr disagrees with the Autism what do you do?? I mean is this like God opening up the gates to heaven and I am walking in or I am I just foolish for thinking that I can take the Autism out of the equation. Well at first we jumped for joy and we told our close friends and family, then we had a celebration dinner.
So our monthly Autism meetings are at the first of the month. I went and attended our April meeting and there is a wonderful woman with twin boys who is a great mentor for me. So of course I was extactic about telling her the good news and then I thought maybe i should not, this could/would be painful for her to hear. Well i thought about it for a bit then decided I had to tell her. I went into every detail about the Dr and the diagnosis and she was not in shock when i was done. Calm as could be with a smile on her face. So then i was shocked and baffled as to what was going on. She then proceed to tell me that the same thing happened to her and her boys but with several diagnosis's threw out the years. Her boys are almost seven and still have the Autism status and will always. She then proceed to tell me that many families go threw this with two, three, and even four opinions, i was devastated. So I am not the only one.... Well she told me to keep my chin up and ya never know what happens and its all for the best, she is right i just did not want to hear it.
Thus far i am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. I now have mixed feelings about seeing the Dr. again. It is nothing personal to him but to give my hopes up again, that is very hard. My girls are so smart and beautiful and my little world is not complete without them, I just want what is best for them. Anyone who knows me knows i will go see the Dr again, of course to benefit my girls. They are what is most important.
I just want to say thank you to all our friends and family out there who have been here for us threw the thick and thin. You will always mean more to us then you will ever know. I love you all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also to all the moms, dads, grandparents out there who have Autistic children you are wonderful, you make this mothers day everyday with your blogs, tweets, and uplifting spirts, God Bless You all.
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
Well we all know its hard raising children, let alone twins, then add special needs and it can make things a bit overwhelming at times. But imagine if i could take the special needs away, imagine if someone was to tell you that they did not agree with the diagnosis then what??
So we did what any parent would do and we took the girls to get a second opinion. We met with a Clinical Psychologist, who came highly recommended from a friend, so our confidence level about him was very high. He took his time and sat with us for a good twenty minutes observing the girls so he could get a good feel for the girls and there behavior. Then he went into detail about Sydney saying he felt that she was not autistic. He felt she was very alert, engaging, and made very well eye contact. We were very stunned. Next he looked at Cheyenne and he felt she was developmentally delayed. Stunned again. Here we where two parents who were devastated by the girls diagnosis and now this Dr is saying he feels other wise, still in shock. Don't get me wrong I know I can not change anything, and I am truly blessed to have my beautiful daughters but when you have then re diagnosed and this Dr disagrees with the Autism what do you do?? I mean is this like God opening up the gates to heaven and I am walking in or I am I just foolish for thinking that I can take the Autism out of the equation. Well at first we jumped for joy and we told our close friends and family, then we had a celebration dinner.
So our monthly Autism meetings are at the first of the month. I went and attended our April meeting and there is a wonderful woman with twin boys who is a great mentor for me. So of course I was extactic about telling her the good news and then I thought maybe i should not, this could/would be painful for her to hear. Well i thought about it for a bit then decided I had to tell her. I went into every detail about the Dr and the diagnosis and she was not in shock when i was done. Calm as could be with a smile on her face. So then i was shocked and baffled as to what was going on. She then proceed to tell me that the same thing happened to her and her boys but with several diagnosis's threw out the years. Her boys are almost seven and still have the Autism status and will always. She then proceed to tell me that many families go threw this with two, three, and even four opinions, i was devastated. So I am not the only one.... Well she told me to keep my chin up and ya never know what happens and its all for the best, she is right i just did not want to hear it.
Thus far i am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. I now have mixed feelings about seeing the Dr. again. It is nothing personal to him but to give my hopes up again, that is very hard. My girls are so smart and beautiful and my little world is not complete without them, I just want what is best for them. Anyone who knows me knows i will go see the Dr again, of course to benefit my girls. They are what is most important.
I just want to say thank you to all our friends and family out there who have been here for us threw the thick and thin. You will always mean more to us then you will ever know. I love you all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also to all the moms, dads, grandparents out there who have Autistic children you are wonderful, you make this mothers day everyday with your blogs, tweets, and uplifting spirts, God Bless You all.
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
So Very Thankful
These past few months have been the hardest months of my life. Learning your child has autism is no easy task but learning and growing from it well that is a whole new thing. I am going to admit it has put me in a funk, one which i though never i could get out of but because of so many wonderful supporters in our lives i feel the funk has finally been erased.
In the beginning it was like someone took a piece of me and replaced it with doubt, remorse, pain, jealousy, you name it i felt it. It was so strong in me that I forgot that this was not about me but about my children. Yes this does affect me but this is there lives no mine and I need to be thankful that it was not something so much worse that what it really was. Do not get wrong there were days where i felt the therapy is not working why are we even bothering with this but then there was a breakthrough. There skills are starting to increase daily and I can tell these are not my same children as they where three, six, and nine months ago. Oh My Goodness could these really be the same girls who could barely speak let alone hold a spoon nine months ago. Yes, these are my girls and they are doing it. They are using mannerisms I though never would be possible to use let alone happen. There is breakthroughs and its happening daily i just had my blinders on and was not paying attention. I was so stuck in my own world I forgot about my two daughters, now I am paying attention!! When Sydney grabs my hand and says "Mommy I want fruit snacks" I almost cry because i see the progress and know how wonderful it is for her to speak to me.It is amazing how we take the little things for granted but I am trying daily to remind myself how truly lucky we are.
So from now on anytime I get down or begin a funk I know I can look back and remind myself how lucky we are they are progressing at the rate that they are. Its a beautiful thing seeing you child make progress.
I am beyond thankful for my many friends, family, therapists, and Doctors who have helped me threw this not only for me but have enriched my daughters lives. If it was not for you i do not think my girls would have accomplished as much as they have. You are all so very encouraging to everything they do and continue to accomplish and I am beyond thankful to have you in our lives.
In the beginning it was like someone took a piece of me and replaced it with doubt, remorse, pain, jealousy, you name it i felt it. It was so strong in me that I forgot that this was not about me but about my children. Yes this does affect me but this is there lives no mine and I need to be thankful that it was not something so much worse that what it really was. Do not get wrong there were days where i felt the therapy is not working why are we even bothering with this but then there was a breakthrough. There skills are starting to increase daily and I can tell these are not my same children as they where three, six, and nine months ago. Oh My Goodness could these really be the same girls who could barely speak let alone hold a spoon nine months ago. Yes, these are my girls and they are doing it. They are using mannerisms I though never would be possible to use let alone happen. There is breakthroughs and its happening daily i just had my blinders on and was not paying attention. I was so stuck in my own world I forgot about my two daughters, now I am paying attention!! When Sydney grabs my hand and says "Mommy I want fruit snacks" I almost cry because i see the progress and know how wonderful it is for her to speak to me.It is amazing how we take the little things for granted but I am trying daily to remind myself how truly lucky we are.
So from now on anytime I get down or begin a funk I know I can look back and remind myself how lucky we are they are progressing at the rate that they are. Its a beautiful thing seeing you child make progress.
I am beyond thankful for my many friends, family, therapists, and Doctors who have helped me threw this not only for me but have enriched my daughters lives. If it was not for you i do not think my girls would have accomplished as much as they have. You are all so very encouraging to everything they do and continue to accomplish and I am beyond thankful to have you in our lives.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Daily Progress
These past few weeks have been more involved with Autism than I ever thought possible. All of which is in a very positive and wonderful way.
I attended my first Autism Society meeting February first and it was much more than what I was expecting. Everyone accepted me with open arms and was extremely gracious. I had lots of questions answered and even better more help/support was offered for my girls.It was very nice to mean other parents who have children with Autism better yet it was more wonderful to meet there children. One thing that was extremely positive for me was seeing seven year old twins boys with Autism and they seemed so "normal". I was not expecting that, it gave me a sense of peace knowing my girls would be "normal" as well. I know that sounds sill but you really have no idea what its like to see "normal" children unless you do not have them. In no way whats so ever do I think that I don not have the most wonderful normal girls, I mean normal comparatively. A lot of people were surprised that I had twin girls with Autism. This mainly because it is more affected with males than girls. I think its a blessing that I have my girls and that's the way God wanted it and that is the way it shall be and I mean that in the most positive and wonderful way possible!!
My girls are doing extremely well. They are continuing their therapy twice a week, speech and occupational. We also talked to the county schools this past week about the girls starting preschool this coming up May. I am a little leary about how many days to do but I am guessing I will figure that all out when the times comes. I know five days a week will be what is best for them, especially structurally, but we might start off with three to be safe. Last thing I want to do is overwhelm my girls but must keep structure in mind. Most children with Autism need structure. Plus this past week we where contacted by TEACCH. TEACCH is a program out of Chapel Hill, NC pertaining to children with Autism and will work with children and their families. The girls have there initial intake appointment this March, which we are very excited about. So thus far you can say everything is progressing very well.
I continued to read more and more books and that eventually drove me crazy. There are a lot of books on Autism, which is so wonderful but also very overwhelming. So I decided to take a break from Autism books for a while and get into books that will take my mind off of everything. My time to escape is very important not only to me but my family. Autism is a part of out lives but it does not need to be in my face constantly.
I am still so new to this so I am learning more and more each day. My goal is to keep all of out friends and family as updated as possible. Also please if you have any questions or concerns feel free to ask or tell me. I want everyone who want to know to please ask and I will be as honest with you as possible. I would not be putting this out there for the world if I was not going to be honest with myself and others.
I would like to say thank you you to all of my friends and family that have been so very supportive for me and my beautiful family. I am so very lucky to have you all and you have no idea how wonderful, beautiful and special you are to us all.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
~George Bernard Shaw
I attended my first Autism Society meeting February first and it was much more than what I was expecting. Everyone accepted me with open arms and was extremely gracious. I had lots of questions answered and even better more help/support was offered for my girls.It was very nice to mean other parents who have children with Autism better yet it was more wonderful to meet there children. One thing that was extremely positive for me was seeing seven year old twins boys with Autism and they seemed so "normal". I was not expecting that, it gave me a sense of peace knowing my girls would be "normal" as well. I know that sounds sill but you really have no idea what its like to see "normal" children unless you do not have them. In no way whats so ever do I think that I don not have the most wonderful normal girls, I mean normal comparatively. A lot of people were surprised that I had twin girls with Autism. This mainly because it is more affected with males than girls. I think its a blessing that I have my girls and that's the way God wanted it and that is the way it shall be and I mean that in the most positive and wonderful way possible!!
My girls are doing extremely well. They are continuing their therapy twice a week, speech and occupational. We also talked to the county schools this past week about the girls starting preschool this coming up May. I am a little leary about how many days to do but I am guessing I will figure that all out when the times comes. I know five days a week will be what is best for them, especially structurally, but we might start off with three to be safe. Last thing I want to do is overwhelm my girls but must keep structure in mind. Most children with Autism need structure. Plus this past week we where contacted by TEACCH. TEACCH is a program out of Chapel Hill, NC pertaining to children with Autism and will work with children and their families. The girls have there initial intake appointment this March, which we are very excited about. So thus far you can say everything is progressing very well.
I continued to read more and more books and that eventually drove me crazy. There are a lot of books on Autism, which is so wonderful but also very overwhelming. So I decided to take a break from Autism books for a while and get into books that will take my mind off of everything. My time to escape is very important not only to me but my family. Autism is a part of out lives but it does not need to be in my face constantly.
I am still so new to this so I am learning more and more each day. My goal is to keep all of out friends and family as updated as possible. Also please if you have any questions or concerns feel free to ask or tell me. I want everyone who want to know to please ask and I will be as honest with you as possible. I would not be putting this out there for the world if I was not going to be honest with myself and others.
I would like to say thank you you to all of my friends and family that have been so very supportive for me and my beautiful family. I am so very lucky to have you all and you have no idea how wonderful, beautiful and special you are to us all.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
~George Bernard Shaw
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Fear in Words
The past two weeks have been the hardest time of my adult life as a parent. Learning your child has Autism is a very hard thing to hear but when you have two and they are both diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder your world crashes.
I think "what have I done, why do I deserve this, is God punishing me." If I pray hard enough will this all go away and be back to normal. But what is normal? This is normal. This had been been my normal, I just did not know. Plus would I want to change my two precious daughters for someone they are not. In no way possible. I love them for exactly who they are and would not change them in any way.
I know this is not the end of the world and could be so much worse but when you hear the word Autism it is like hearing the word Cancer. This is an incurable disease and will or can my child recover. Now I know this is not anything like Cancer it is just a heart wrenching word you can hear when your child is diagnosed with Autism.
Please bare with me if you can as i am bit all out of sorts. This is new and different and i do not like change or not being in control for than matter.For some reason I guess God felt that I needed to get over this and accept that I can not always have my way. He is right; he would not give me anything that I can not handle. This is what I am supposed to do. Still be a loving, caring mother of my most precious beautiful twin daughters who just happen to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Since this is all new to me and I do not know a lot about this I am going to try to find out everything I can about ASD. I am going to get as involved as I can, meet other parents, go to meeting and read as many books as i can possible.
So far I have read two books and am on my third. I highly recommend reading "Louder than Words" by Jenny McCarthy, "Facing Autism: Giving parents reasons for hope and guidance for help" by Lynn M. Hamilton. Now I am reading "The Horse Boy: A Father's Quest to heal his son" By Rupert Isaacson. To me this is how I cope. Sticking my head in books and being as aggressive as possible to learn as much as I can. To some this might seem odd because I am not grieving right now but I have to keep my head above water and that is how i am doing this; with books.
Please keep us in your prayers as i know there is no cure but there is always hope for getting better. This is a new journey for my perfect family of four and each day will be difficult, new and exciting. I leave you with this quote...
"To love is to risk not being loves in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."
I think "what have I done, why do I deserve this, is God punishing me." If I pray hard enough will this all go away and be back to normal. But what is normal? This is normal. This had been been my normal, I just did not know. Plus would I want to change my two precious daughters for someone they are not. In no way possible. I love them for exactly who they are and would not change them in any way.
I know this is not the end of the world and could be so much worse but when you hear the word Autism it is like hearing the word Cancer. This is an incurable disease and will or can my child recover. Now I know this is not anything like Cancer it is just a heart wrenching word you can hear when your child is diagnosed with Autism.
Please bare with me if you can as i am bit all out of sorts. This is new and different and i do not like change or not being in control for than matter.For some reason I guess God felt that I needed to get over this and accept that I can not always have my way. He is right; he would not give me anything that I can not handle. This is what I am supposed to do. Still be a loving, caring mother of my most precious beautiful twin daughters who just happen to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Since this is all new to me and I do not know a lot about this I am going to try to find out everything I can about ASD. I am going to get as involved as I can, meet other parents, go to meeting and read as many books as i can possible.
So far I have read two books and am on my third. I highly recommend reading "Louder than Words" by Jenny McCarthy, "Facing Autism: Giving parents reasons for hope and guidance for help" by Lynn M. Hamilton. Now I am reading "The Horse Boy: A Father's Quest to heal his son" By Rupert Isaacson. To me this is how I cope. Sticking my head in books and being as aggressive as possible to learn as much as I can. To some this might seem odd because I am not grieving right now but I have to keep my head above water and that is how i am doing this; with books.
Please keep us in your prayers as i know there is no cure but there is always hope for getting better. This is a new journey for my perfect family of four and each day will be difficult, new and exciting. I leave you with this quote...
"To love is to risk not being loves in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."
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