So lately I have had a lot to think about but for some reason I have not been able to write. Then a friend of mine Elise told me to write about something different, which is great advice and never had come to my mind. So I am going to attempt to and see where this goes. Funny thing is that I will probably still talk about my girls and not that that is bad but i obviously need a change of pace if i have been blocked for over seven months. Maybe that is exactly what is my problem, my whole life is centered around my girls and I do not really have much of anything else. Don not get me wrong I love my girls, there are my world but I need more and I deserve more.I guess I am so used to being mom that I forgot to take care of myself. I am that "A" typical mom that dresses in sweats everywhere I go, gets a hair cut maybe twice a year, does not wear make-up, let alone take of my skin and body. It is almost like I have been living in the twilight zone for four years and I have not been able to escape. I do not know why I have been this way but it is obvious I am stuck in a rut and have been for quite some time. I can not blame it on my girls, they are almost four, not almost four months. I could blame them but what good would that do, that is more damaging to myself and gives me self resentment to them, which we all know is not true. A lot of the reason why I think I felt like I could not take care of myself because it would take time away from my girls. Why? I have no idea but i felt this way and did very strongly. I think, well I feel like a lot of parents, particularly moms do, and/or I hope I am not the only one.
I have gained a lot of weight since I have had my girls but for me to blame them is very unfair, its actually very wrong. If anything I need to be happy about it because I can look at the stretch marks on my stomach and realize I got these two beautiful girls out of it. One thing i must say is i need to remember this anytime I start looking or feel bad about my weight. I really do have a lot of great things going on for me in my life and its is almost like I had an epiphany about this the other day, I need no I must start taking better care of myself. So I went and did a couple things for myself. I went and got my nails done,eyebrows waxed, got a new daring haircut and color, and bought some new clothes, ones that actually fit right! It is almost like I am a changed woman, in a very positive self deserving way. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and I am trying as hard as I can to do that for myself. Not only will this improve my relationship with my myself but my husband, my girls and my friends and family, and that is exactly what I need!
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
