Figuring this out

 Been having a lot of revelations in my life these past couple months. It seems that everything I thought I knew I was completely wrong about. I figured I had autism figured out, wrong! I know I am not supposed to know everything but I figured I had a clue.
   Basically I think that Cheyenne is digressing and I figured that was not possible, well at least in her speech. Cheyenne has always had problems with speech bur her intellect has always been brilliant. She was having speech therapy two times a week at school and did not qualify for at home use anymore. Well I figured that she would not need it during the summer, wrong again. I should have tried to get her into a speech program and I figured she would not be able to qualify but I never tried. I actually did not even think about it till I noticed the digression, which you would have thought I noticed it sooner.  I did not even realize till around two weeks ago, right about the time summer is ending and school is beginning in two weeks. I feel like I should have noticed this earlier, like I am failing for my child .I hope this is not a huge problem but I am not sure. I have no one to talk to about this  
 Cheyenne is talking like a baby, almost as if she cant use words. We have to ask her big girl voice or talk normal in order to understand her.Cheyenne also talks like characters most of the time as well. She does not understand that she has a voice of her own, or at least it comes across that way. So the big question is that is she digressing or is this just a stage she is going threw, she is four. For all i know she is just identifying with the characters and feels like she understand them better than anyone else, obviously a guess on my part.
 One thing I am very happy about is that she does start school soon and she will back on schedule for her therapy. I am praying that this can or will be resolved. Also at the same time if this is all that is going on with her then I am very lucky. She is a very healthy, loving, beautiful child.
I just want to help my child and if there is anything I can do I will do it!! If anyone has any suggestions or knows what i am going threw I would great appreciate any feedback. Thank you!!

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."
Albert Einstein

Being Mom!

 So lately I have had a lot to think about but for some reason I have not been able to write. Then a friend of mine Elise told me to write about something different, which is great advice and never had come to my mind. So I am going to attempt to and see where this goes. Funny thing is that I will probably still talk about my girls and not that that is bad but i obviously need a change of pace if i have been blocked for over seven months. Maybe that  is exactly what is my problem, my whole life is centered around my girls and I do not really have much of anything else. Don not get me wrong I love my girls, there are my world but I need more and I deserve more.I guess I am so used to being mom that I forgot to take care of myself. I am that "A" typical mom that dresses in sweats everywhere I go, gets a hair cut maybe twice a year, does not wear make-up, let alone take of my skin and body. It is almost like I have been living in the twilight zone for four years and I have not been able to escape. I do not know why I have been this way but it is obvious I am stuck in a rut and have been for quite some time. I can not blame it on my girls, they are almost four, not almost four months. I could blame them but what good would that do, that is more damaging to myself and gives me self resentment to them, which we all know is not true. A lot of the reason why I think I felt like I could not take care of myself because it would take time away from my girls. Why? I have no idea but i felt this way and did very strongly. I think, well I feel like a lot of parents, particularly moms do, and/or I hope I am not the only one.
 I have gained a lot of weight since I have had my girls but for me to blame them is very unfair, its actually very wrong. If anything I need to be happy about it because I can look at the stretch marks on my stomach and realize I got these two beautiful girls out of it. One thing i must say is i need to remember this anytime I start looking or feel bad about my weight. I really do have a lot of great things going on for me in my life and its is almost like I had an epiphany about this the other day, I need no I must start taking better care of myself. So I went and did a couple things for myself. I went and got my nails done,eyebrows waxed, got a new daring haircut and color, and bought some new clothes, ones that actually fit right! It is almost like I am a changed woman, in a very positive self deserving way. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and I am trying as hard as I can to do that for myself.  Not only will this improve my relationship with my myself but my husband, my girls and my friends and family, and that is exactly  what I need!

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”