So I have been pretty busy lately and not in the normal way of busy but busy with my thoughts. Obviously because i have not written in over two months. But I am back and ready to give my thoughts on a lot of things going on.
Well we all know its hard raising children, let alone twins, then add special needs and it can make things a bit overwhelming at times. But imagine if i could take the special needs away, imagine if someone was to tell you that they did not agree with the diagnosis then what??
So we did what any parent would do and we took the girls to get a second opinion. We met with a Clinical Psychologist, who came highly recommended from a friend, so our confidence level about him was very high. He took his time and sat with us for a good twenty minutes observing the girls so he could get a good feel for the girls and there behavior. Then he went into detail about Sydney saying he felt that she was not autistic. He felt she was very alert, engaging, and made very well eye contact. We were very stunned. Next he looked at Cheyenne and he felt she was developmentally delayed. Stunned again. Here we where two parents who were devastated by the girls diagnosis and now this Dr is saying he feels other wise, still in shock. Don't get me wrong I know I can not change anything, and I am truly blessed to have my beautiful daughters but when you have then re diagnosed and this Dr disagrees with the Autism what do you do?? I mean is this like God opening up the gates to heaven and I am walking in or I am I just foolish for thinking that I can take the Autism out of the equation. Well at first we jumped for joy and we told our close friends and family, then we had a celebration dinner.
So our monthly Autism meetings are at the first of the month. I went and attended our April meeting and there is a wonderful woman with twin boys who is a great mentor for me. So of course I was extactic about telling her the good news and then I thought maybe i should not, this could/would be painful for her to hear. Well i thought about it for a bit then decided I had to tell her. I went into every detail about the Dr and the diagnosis and she was not in shock when i was done. Calm as could be with a smile on her face. So then i was shocked and baffled as to what was going on. She then proceed to tell me that the same thing happened to her and her boys but with several diagnosis's threw out the years. Her boys are almost seven and still have the Autism status and will always. She then proceed to tell me that many families go threw this with two, three, and even four opinions, i was devastated. So I am not the only one.... Well she told me to keep my chin up and ya never know what happens and its all for the best, she is right i just did not want to hear it.
Thus far i am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. I now have mixed feelings about seeing the Dr. again. It is nothing personal to him but to give my hopes up again, that is very hard. My girls are so smart and beautiful and my little world is not complete without them, I just want what is best for them. Anyone who knows me knows i will go see the Dr again, of course to benefit my girls. They are what is most important.
I just want to say thank you to all our friends and family out there who have been here for us threw the thick and thin. You will always mean more to us then you will ever know. I love you all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also to all the moms, dads, grandparents out there who have Autistic children you are wonderful, you make this mothers day everyday with your blogs, tweets, and uplifting spirts, God Bless You all.
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
